Turning 39: Reflections on Growth, Shedding Insecurities, and Embracing My Authentic Self
I really want to get back into writing, so I figure—why not start on my birthday, right?
My younger self hated that my birthday was so close to the action-packed days of Christmas and New Year’s. It often felt like my special day was overshadowed by the seasonal festivities. Now, in recent years, I’ve grown to love my birthday because I see it as my personal New Year. It gives me an extra few days to set intentions for how I want my new year to look and feel.
As I reflect on my 38th year, I realize how proud I am of myself. I launched a business, started a podcast, married my love of 13 years, and I’m pregnant with our second baby. During that time, my husband launched his nonprofit organization, World Famous House Crew, and released his latest house music album, House Techno Soul. In addition, my daughter passed her Grade 2 ballet exam with the Royal Academy of Dance and danced on stage at The Wiltern for a professional production of The Nutcracker. It was an amazing year for my little family, and I’m so grateful for all the blessings God has bestowed upon us.
Thirty-eight was definitely a year of hope—a year where I felt guided out of the tunnel by God’s light. I challenged myself to confront things instead of running away from them. I learned to get comfortable with discomfort. It was also the year I became more aware of myself and my surroundings. With that awareness came the realization of so many characteristics, behaviors, and patterns that I’m now learning to release.
For the first time in a long while, I feel genuinely proud and excited about who I’m becoming.
This is why 39 will be about shedding what no longer serves me so that I can fully step into my authentic self and the life I’ve always envisioned for myself.
I’m doing the work to shed the habit of hiding and judging the real me. That’s where so many of my insecurities stem from—insecurities about how I speak, how I look, what I say, and, quite plainly, just being me. As if who I am isn’t enough. Because, frankly, I didn’t grow up learning what it looked like to confidently be myself. Sometimes I think it’s wild that I’m only learning this at 39. But after reflecting on my life, the timeline of my journey makes so much sense.
I also desire deeper connections. For so long, my insecurities kept me from fully engaging with others. I’d get anxious about seeing old friends or even family relatives. But then it hit me—what if I made those experiences about catching up with them instead of focusing on myself? What if I showed up to learn how I can support them? Wouldn’t that make me feel less self-conscious?
This realization led me to my next personal growth goal: becoming an effective and compassionate communicator. I’ve learned that great communicators are some of the most caring people in the world. They take the time to understand their audience and communicate in ways that resonate. They do the prep work because they care. The onus isn’t on the audience to do the heavy lifting—it’s on the communicator to create connection.
I’m also laser-focused on growing my business and producing valuable podcast episodes for the Asian American community. I recently joined The Authentic Asian, an organization of badass AAPI women leaders. I’m excited to be part of meaningful communities, and what better way to jumpstart that than by surrounding myself with women who share a deep cultural bond?
I’m sharing all of this with you for two reasons. First, I want you to share your New Year or birthday goals with me. Let’s support each other. Second, I want to connect with anyone who may want to be on my podcast or knows someone who would be a great fit. Or maybe you want to collaborate on business. Let’s chat!
Honestly, I thought this post would be more thought-provoking and transformational, but it ended up feeling refreshingly normal. And that’s okay—because sometimes normal is exactly what we need.
Here are my goals for my 39th year of life. Type yours below:
Become a more effective and compassionate communicator
Write regularly
Inspire more AAPI folks to follow their path through my podcast, Tradition Breakers
Share my message about service-driven marketing on stages
Get interviewed on podcasts or featured in write-ups for my work
Host a day-long marketing retreat for my community
Help founders find the joy and art in marketing their brands
Support, nurture, and love my family in the unique ways they need
Deepen my relationships and friendships by being of service to the people I love
Have a healthy birth and baby boy
Get back to my pre-baby body with strength, health, and love
Improve my financial wellness
Have fun while doing everything on this list
